101 things in 1001 days

92. Develop a Sunday routine.

This was my 奶奶 - my dad’s mom. In the fall of 2010, she contracted pneumonia and developed a buildup of phlegm, causing her to cough constantly. In addition, because of her advanced age (90+!), her epiglottis - that flap that blocks food from entering the windpipe - was weakened and she had trouble keeping food from going into the wrong pipe. 

Basically, she had trouble eating, making her weaker, which made her want to eat less.

My dad asked me and my sister to visit her on the weekends to make sure she ate lunch. During the week, she had a helper come in during the day, as well as lunchtime food delivery. However during the weekend, she was usually by herself and ate reheated salty Chinese takeout/lunchbox leftovers from the week. Since we were the grandkids, she felt obilged to eat while we ate lunch with her, and even more compelled to eat what we had brought/bought specifically just for her. Haha! Yes, we used common courtesy to coerce her into eating.

And so my sister and I went to her apartment on Sundays to bring her food, make sure she ate, and maybe take her out for pearl milk tea or a walk around the block.

Her health didn’t get better over the winter. I still don’t know how this happened, but her dentures stopped working (??) and all her bottom teeth fell out (???) so she stopped being able to chew real food. Either the lunch delivery takeout would be sent through a food processor or we’d buy her congee. We also started sneaking Ensure into her “mochas” (aka Ovaltine) to help supplement her meals. Seeing her every so often in the summer quickly turned into every Sunday and once or twice during the week.

And then, at the end of February, things got worse.

She stopped eating. She couldn’t get up or walk. She had to be lifted from her chair to her bed. She was hospitalized. The nurses gave her an IV drip which hydrated her and gave her lots of nutrients, giving everyone a sense of hope. People were talking about temporary hospice stays and regaining muscle strength.

She died March 14th, 2011.